Suaimhneas: Living Goddess

calm » suaimhneas
calmness » suaimhneas
composure » Suaimhneas
hush » suaimhneas
leisureliness » suaimhneas
peace » Suaimhneas
peacefulness » suaimhneas
quiescence » suaimhneas
quiet » Suaimhneas
quietness » suaimhneas
quietude » suaimhneas
repose » Suaimhneas
restfulness » Suaimhneas
serenity » suaimhneas
soberness » Suaimhneas
stillness » suaimhneas
tranquillity » suaimhneas

New English – Irish Dictionary https://www.teanglann.ie/en/

During COVID, I spent four months completely alone, isolated in my apartment and I realized pretty quickly that if the pandemic was going to continue, or if anything like it ever happened again, I wanted to be within walking distance of my community – my parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, aunts, uncles, cousins, best friend, and life partner. Before the pandemic, I had been looking to buy a house in town close to my workplace. During the pandemic my vision for my entire future changed.

My parents gave me land beside their house and I looked at RVs, mini-homes, modular homes, and homes built out of train boxcars to find some way to quickly relocate closer to my family. Initially, it seemed impossible. It felt like I was going to have to settle for something less than what I imagined. It felt like I would be going so deeply into debt I would spend the rest of my life working to pay off this move. But then I found a company in the province who were building the kind of tiny homes that I really liked, with high ceilings and lofts. I met with them and got good vibes. I showed them my ideas and they said they could create my dream tiny home. I believed them and got very excited, only to run into the obstacle of funding. Everywhere I heard, “People don’t get mortgages for tiny homes.” I pursued every avenue that I could think of to get enough money to buy my home, and watched as one door after another closed on me.

I remember the moment that I gave up. I was on the phone with my mom, listening to her through my bluetooth headphones, and we were talking about next steps for me. I hadn’t wanted to admit it to myself, but I thought I needed to give up on my tiny house dream and find a new plan. I said something like, “I dunno, I don’t think I can make this happen. I don’t know what to do next.” I barely finished my sentence when I heard a notification ding. The builder had messaged that he might have found an option. How many times has this happened to me? I hold on too tightly to a vision for myself, trying to control everyone and everything in my way, only to have it appear instantly the moment I loosen my grip and give in to whatever will be. I should know this by now. I should remember and relax and allow things to happen from the beginning, but somehow I always forget.

While the rest is history, as they say, it wasn’t a straight-forward venture. There were a lot of hoops to jump through, a lot of modifications that I might not have bothered with if left on my own, but in the end a lender gave me a mortgage and I got the home I’d always wanted, 40 feet long by 10 feet wide, 15 windows including the garden door, no longer on wheels, fully anchored and rooted into the ground. Guess what? I might be the only person to get a mortgage for a tiny home.

She is the love of my life, where I was always meant to be, perfect for me in every way that matters. Her name is Suaimhneas, pronounced Swev-ness, because I have Ireland in my blood and this home represents all the calm, serenity and tranquility of my life now and into the future. If you were a fly on my wall, you would hear me say out loud most mornings and some nights, “Good morning, Suaimhneas! I love you!” “Good night, Suaimhneas, thank you for this glorious day.” In my mind, I envision my arms wrapping her in a big warm hug. Sometimes I just sit on my couch and gaze across my kitchen, up into the loft, through my bedroom and into the bathroom and smile, bursting with joy at being here with her.